I have this desperate prayer. It's the ache in my bones, the longing of my soul, the deep cry of my heart. It's a bring-me-to-my-knees and only-God-can-heal kind of prayer. When I allow my sinful nature to run away with this situation, it incites anger and blame and frustration and worry and fear and confusion and hopelessness. When I make the conscious choice to hand it over to the Lord, I receive comfort, patience, hope, and perseverance. The latter lasts briefly due to the nature of this circumstance and then I'm back in prayer again (and again, and again). It's a war in my heart, but what feels like damage is also necessary pruning. God is clearing all the ugly off the battlefield in my heart to make room for his bountiful fruit.
The plus side of your desperate "unanswered" prayer: Your constant need to pray drives you to the Lord ALL. DAY. LONG. You must depend on Him to get to each sunset and give you renewed hope at each sunrise. Your dependency on God creates a rich and everlasting relationship with your Creator.
It's been almost four years since I began pleading with God to heal this plight. Many times it's a stop-in-the-moment prayer to handle this circumstance with His love. It's an every morning lift up to the Lord, with my wish list on the topic. It's a fall to my knees in tears, begging. And it's a lying prostrate on the floor, face down in reverence and desperation. It's a nightly touch asking God to restore, the angels to protect, and Satan to flee in the name of Jesus. I know with full certainty that God could place a finger on this area and completely heal it in an instant. Yet, He's chosen not to, despite my pleas.
The plus side of your desperate "unanswered" prayer: Prayer becomes a way of life, a survival mechanism. You're creating a habit of turning to God when you're in need.
I've read all the books, arranged all the therapies, seen all the doctors, sought His wisdom, and covered this situation in prayer. Yet, there is no resolution. I've even cried out, "If you'll heal this thing, Lord, I'll share your miracle with the world, I promise!" And yet, He's seemingly silent. But when God's silent, He's still orchestrating. He's writing the music before the concert. He's made plans for your ultimate good and His glory. My hope lies in John 9:3 where Jesus heals a man who was blind from birth: "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."
The plus side of your desperate "unanswered" prayer: You cling to God's Word. Find your hope-verse and meditate on it. The works of God will be displayed in your situation.
One lesson God instilled on my heart through this process comes from my former pastor who said, "If God hasn't changed your circumstance, He's still working on changing you." Ouch! Another way I've heard this is that God will not protect you from what He can perfect you through. Before this situation, I was blind to how much I needed to grow in Christ. I didn't understand the depths of my anger and impatience until I had to confront those emotions on a moment by moment basis.
The plus side of your "unanswered" prayer: God is revealing the darkness in your heart so you can replace it with the shining, life-giving light of Jesus.
My desperate "unanswered" prayer is not actually unanswered. God answers my prayer in his Word: trust Me. He answers my prayer through the Holy Spirit: follow Me. He answers my prayer through faithful prayer warriors as they continually lift my requests to the Lord. He answers my prayer, one small victory at a time. He has not given me victory over this battle, but there is victory IN the battle. I am so in-tune with this circumstance that my praises fly all over the place while bystanders are oblivious to God's little miracles taking place.
The plus side of your desperate "unanswered" prayer: You develop a life of praise and your celebration of God's goodness increases dramatically. You learn to find true joy and thanksgiving in the smallest, seemingly unnoticeable victories. To Him be all the glory.
What is the plus-side of YOUR desperate unanswered prayer?